Blog: Self Deprecation Achieves Nothing. Lets stamp it out!

I am worthless.

I am pathetic.

What Am I doing here?

I am an imposter.

I cannot do this.

Do you tell yourself these things? Its called self-deprecation.  And let me tell you one thing, self-deprecation solves nothing and will only make you feel down / sad / bad / worthless.

The way you talk to yourself, or indeed label yourself has a profound impact on your wellbeing.

Another example, overly simplistic labelling. Do you ever label yourself as a good or a bad person? Life is complex, it has so many strands and elements to it.  How can it be possible to take every fibre that forms a human being and state it as good or bad?

Self deprecation simply achieves nothing positive. It makes you feel miserable.  There is sadly enough nasty people in the world to make you feel miserable without being hard on yourself too.

I find we fight so hard to be accepted in the world.  Some of us have additional characteristics that are even more of a challenge to get people to accept.  I for one have the labels of gay and disabled to contend with in addition to getting people to accept me as me.  The world is tough enough without being unkind to ourselves.  Yes it’s a challenge to get ourselves accepted, but first we need to find peace with ourselves.

For years, maybe even decades I struggled with this.  I was always the bad person, never good enough and I would have to battle what I would think of as the darkness inside of me. I was also surrounded by people who would play on this darkness to their own advantage to make themselves feel better.

It was not an easy journey, but it took me removing toxic people to start the process to shackle the darkness. Instead of being told I’m not good enough by those around me, I focused on the people that mattered.  That also changed me as a person too. I began to heal, and accept me for who I am.

I also learned to switch off the opinions of others. So if you don’t like me, that’s ok.  I’m not really interested in your opinions of my life, what matters to me is that I am content within myself.

I’m not here to tell anyone they are good or bad – its not possible in my view to label someone so simplistically. I dislike labels in general, but it seems society likes to label people.

What I can tell you is:

I am good enough, I actually like who I have become and I am grateful for my life.

I want to finish up by saying you are also good enough, you have totally got this and never be afraid to be who you are.

You can make a difference in this world, you do make a difference. Even the little thing matter.  My view is the little differences matter the most.

Go on, just be you. Be awesome.

You have totally got this!

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