Blog: Stuck between the dark and light


Just a few days ago I wrote about taking the good times with the bad, and this week is proving my point.

Yesterday I had an overwhelmingly negative feeling. I had a feeling something untoward was about to happen. It is hard to explain, but I sensed bad times were ahead.

The negative feeling lingered for the whole evening,  and culminated in nightmares on the themes of death, abduction and loss.

I woke this morning feeling very unsettled, and decided I need to focus on relaxation today to try and shake the feeling. I felt a sense of darkness forming around me. This feeling is never usually a good sign for my mental health or anxiety disorder.

Unfortunately it seems my sense of bad times was entirely justified. My Auntie passed away this morning, very unexpectedly. This has come as a shock to my family. There was no indication, no warning. Just gone.

The last few weeks has felt like death has been stalking me. Three strikes in as many weeks. I feel death creeping close to me. It is a very unsettling feeling .

I am remaining away on holiday, I spoke with my Mum and nothing can be changed by returning early. I will use the time in this beautiful place to process this news.

Hopefully I can shake off the darkness I feel surrounding me before I get home.

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