Blog: Control


I am writing this from a bench on the banks of the river Humber. I have just walked from Hessle foreshore over the Humber Bridge. I am taking a break from walking and taking in the view from the other side in Barton on Humber.

The Humber Bridge, 26 June 2021.

This weekend away has been very timely. Its been a rough couple of weeks, though the negative events are not standard ones that I usually face. Yesterday (Friday) was quite a difficult day as anxiety and low mood really got the better of me. I am very grateful to my friends who supported me through this. I had to take action to make some quick changes to allow me to feel better.

One thing that has remained a constant over the last few weeks is my own recognition of how far I have come on my journey. I am more confident, I have learned ways to manage my anxiety and I have found contentment in many areas of life. Recent difficult events are one offs, which are out of my control. Ultimately I believe I will be ok, but I don’t want anything that is within my control jeopardise the great progress I have made.

So why am I sharing all this? I wanted to share a personal example of where events in life can be out of our control do happen. Humans often hate not being in control of events. We can find great strength in how we react, that can sometimes be in our control. Sometimes we do just have to let these events happen, they can often not be predicted or influenced.

Focusing on what is in our control is where we can exert great strength. Carving out changes to things in our control can give you a real sense of contentment.

Right here, right now I have given myself a change of scenery. I am getting much needed thinking time, whilst also focusing on things I enjoy.

Sometimes I make lists to separate out what is and is not in my control. That is a really therapeutic act for me.

I’ve said this time and again, it is ok not to be ok.


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