Life can throw us a curve ball when we least expect it . We can make plans for the future, and they can be pretty detailed, but we cannot control the future. Good or bad, anything can change at anytime. This is where our resilience skills comes in. Finding ways to deal with difficult events is really important to life. 

Resilience is a learned skill – it is not something we are born with. Our life experiences, thoughts and the influences of the world around us (including people) define our resilience.  Sometimes we do not know how resilient we are until we face those unexpected events.

It is definitely worth focusing on developing coping techniques to get through difficult times. If we create and prepare those coping techniques in advance, it means we armed and prepared for the day we need them. It helps to create positive habits for our lives in general. For me, journaling is one of the biggest parts of my resilience. It helps me remove thoughts from my head, and at the same time it documents my life and experiences. It gives me a safe space to plan and prepare for my life too.

I’ve just had a huge test of my resilience. I had a lovely weekend escape planned to Bridlington. I had a good idea in my head of the things I’ve wanted to do, I’d even noted it in my journal. I’d made a plan, added in detail – yes I cannot control the future, no matter how positive the preparation has been.

On my drive to Bridlington, I had an accident. A large bird hit the windscreen at 60 mph, causing significant damage to the glass. This is one of those curve balls I mentioned earlier. The car was otherwise undamaged, and I was also not injured. For that I am very grateful. The main takeaway from this for me, is how my resilience kicked in. I was able to remain calm although the incident. and afterwards. I know from my past traumas (some not nearly as severe as this) that I would fall apart and be a anxious mess. I am proud of how far I’ve come to be able to hold myself together throughout this accident.

My plans for the weekend trip had to be amended to not include the use of the car, but I am grateful for being safe and able to continue on with an amended version of my plans.

I am glad I have prioritised building resilience skills over the last four years, otherwise the aftermath of this would be worse for my wellbeing.

Don’t wait until the curve ball happens, put those coping techniques in place now. They’ll help you in life, and will be ready for when you need them.