Over the past few months, I’ve experienced what can only be described as a real roller-coaster of emotions. It’s been a period marked by personal challenges, emotional upheaval, and deep introspection. While I’m not yet ready to share the details, and perhaps I never will be, I wanted to share the emotional learning that has come from these difficult times. Life has a way of teaching us lessons when we least expect it, and for me, one of the clearest lessons has been about people: those who show up, those who quietly disappear, and those who surprise you in both beautiful and disappointing ways.

When life gets tough, it’s often said that you find out who your true friends are, and it’s true. In the midst of uncertainty or pain, you begin to notice the ones who check in, the ones who offer their time, their ear, their understanding, and, importantly, their presence. It’s during these times that we appreciate kindness more than ever, even if it’s something as simple as a message saying, “I’m thinking of you.”

But hand-in-hand with this appreciation often comes a quieter, more painful realisation: there are people you thought would be there for you, and they’re not. Sometimes, those you expect to be in your corner are nowhere to be found. They might avoid your vulnerability, your silence, or your need. And while this realisation can hurt, it can also serve as a much-needed moment of clarity.

What I’ve learned, and continue to learn, is that it’s important to remember these moments moving forward. They can shape how you invest your energy and your emotional resources. I’m not advocating for bitterness or holding grudges, but rather for a thoughtful kind of self-protection. Care for those who care. Be there for those who are there for you. Give time to the people who make time for you.

It’s a shift in mindset that starts small but builds up your emotional resilience in the long run. And this ties into something I wrote recently about cutting out negative people. That point still stands. Sometimes, we keep people in our lives out of habit, obligation, or fear of confrontation. But if someone consistently drains you, diminishes you, or disappears when you need them most – is that truly a relationship worth nurturing?

Cutting people out can be painful. It’s not always a dramatic confrontation or a social media block. Sometimes, it’s just letting things fade. Not chasing, not forcing, not explaining. Just allowing space to grow around a connection that no longer serves you. That space, painful though it may initially feel, makes room for healing – and for new relationships built on mutual respect, empathy, and consistency.

In these moments of clarity, it becomes even more important to focus on the people who have shown up for you – and who continue to. Whether it’s a friend who brings you a brew without asking, a friend who sends a silly meme to make you smile, or a colleague who covers for you without fuss, these small acts mean everything. Hold those people close. Tell them you’re grateful. Invest in those connections.

Beyond the people around us, another key part of staying emotionally well during tough times is shifting your mindset. That doesn’t mean pretending everything’s fine when it’s not or putting on a happy face for the sake of appearances. It means finding joy in small things, even when the bigger picture feels uncertain.

One thing that’s helped me personally is changing the way I frame the everyday. Take work, for example. Instead of saying, “I have to go to work today,” I try to think, “I get to go to work today.” It’s a small change in words, but it carries a huge shift in perspective. I get to earn. I get to connect with people. I get to step outside of my thoughts for a few hours and focus on something else. That’s a privilege not everyone has.

Finding joy in the little things might sound cliché, but it’s a powerful form of self-care. It could be your morning cup of tea, a walk in fresh air, the way your pet greets you when you walk through the door, or the satisfaction of ticking off your to-do list. These aren’t solutions to life’s bigger challenges, but they’re moments of peace within the chaos and they matter.

There’s a quote I came across recently that really stuck with me: “If it costs you your peace, it’s too expensive.” And I think that applies not just to relationships, but to situations, commitments, and even the way we speak to ourselves. Protecting your peace is not selfish, it’s necessary. Especially when life already feels heavy.

Wellbeing is not just about yoga, green smoothies, or eight hours of sleep (although those things can help). Real wellbeing, to me, is about emotional honesty, boundaries, gratitude, and perspective. It’s about knowing when to rest, when to reach out, and when to let go. Effectively, being well!

If you’re going through a tough time, I want you to know you’re not alone. Even when it feels like it. Even when people disappoint you. Even when the road ahead feels blurry. You are allowed to feel all of it. And you are allowed to protect your energy by choosing who gets access to your time, your heart, and your story.

One final thought, don’t forget to check in on the strong ones. The ones who seem to have it all together. The ones who don’t always ask for help. They might be the ones who need it most. And if you’re one of those people, let this be a gentle reminder that you’re allowed to not be ok – and that asking for help doesn’t make you weak. It makes you human.

In the end, my recent experiences have taught me a powerful truth: sometimes, the storm reveals the strength of your foundations. And sometimes, the people who help you rebuild are the ones you least expected. Hold on to them. Thank them. Grow with them.

You don’t have to have it all figured out. Just take each day as it comes, find the joy where you can, and never forget that your wellbeing matters.