I want to start this by wishing everyone a happy new year. I also fully appreciate that the new year can be a real struggle for many of us, me included. Some people have a big Christmas time, and when new years eve passes, they are dropped back into the everyday routine of life. That coupled with short days and winter weather can cause us to lose hope and suffer from mental ill health.  That is just one scenario, as I have said before not everyone celebrates Christmas.

I find the first part of January to be a challenge. On 13 January 2018, my Dad died very suddenly, and unexpectedly. I didn’t see it coming and there was nothing we could have done. Each year the 13 January is a difficult day for me. It seems to change how it impacts me each year. I have a few pictures of my Dad on the wall in my kitchen at home. This year, I find my mind drifting into thinking, when someone has left us, they’ve become just the picture on the wall. It makes me sad to feel this way, when someone has gone, their physical presence is just represented by the objects they leave behind. That includes photos that are on my kitchen wall.

I’ve experienced a fair amount of loss over the years, with losing all my grandparents, including my Dad’s mother just the year before he passed. I have their pictures on my wall too. On the 13 January, it serves as a reminder of what I’ve lost. But for the rest of the year, it reminds me of the joy my Dad brought to my life too. No one’s relationship is perfect, life is supposed to be messy, but there were many good times with the bad. Much of what makes me who I am today was learned from my Dad. The fundamental lesson was, do what makes you happy. Other people may have expectations on what that should look like. My parents taught me to follow my heart and do what bring me happiness above all else.

On Monday 13 January, I know I will feel sad. I’ll be looking at the pictures on my wall, but I know, largely from the wisdom my Dad gave me, that I will be ok.

Thank you, Dad.