In a world that constantly encourages selflessness and prioritising the needs of others, the idea of putting yourself first can sometimes feel selfish. However, the truth is that taking care of yourself is not just beneficial—it is essential. You cannot pour from an empty cup, and if you neglect your own wellbeing, you will eventually find yourself unable to support those around you. Learning to put yourself first is a crucial step in personal growth, mental and physical health, and overall happiness.

For many people, putting themselves first can feel unnatural or even uncomfortable. This is especially true if you are someone who deeply cares about others. Whether you are a parent, a friend, a spouse, or a caregiver, the instinct to prioritise the needs of others often overrides your own desires. Society also reinforces the idea that selflessness is a virtue while self-prioritisation is selfish. This mindset can be difficult to break, but understanding the reasons behind it is the first step toward change.

One of the most significant challenges in prioritising yourself is guilt. You may feel guilty for saying no, setting boundaries, or taking time for yourself. However, it is important to remember that taking care of yourself does not mean neglecting others. It simply means that you are ensuring you have the energy, mental clarity, and emotional stability to be there for others in a more meaningful way.

Another barrier is the fear of disappointing others. If you have spent most of your life accommodating everyone else’s needs, making a shift towards self-care might initially upset some people. But it’s important to recognise that the people who truly care about you will understand and respect your need for balance!

One of the most important truths about self-care is that it is not just beneficial to you—it is beneficial to those around you as well. If you neglect yourself, you will eventually burn out. Burnout can lead to stress, anxiety, resentment, and even physical health issues. When you are physically and emotionally exhausted, your ability to help others diminishes significantly.

I always use James’ example to emphasise this point, think of it like an airplane oxygen mask. In case of an emergency, you are instructed to put your mask on first before helping others. This is because if you pass out from a lack of oxygen, you won’t be able to assist anyone else. The same principle applies to life: when you take care of yourself, you are in a much better position to care for those around you.

When you prioritise your mental and physical wellbeing, you become a better parent, partner, friend, and colleague. You will have more patience, more energy, and a more positive outlook. Instead of running on empty and feeling overwhelmed, you will be able to give from a place of selflessness.

If you have spent years prioritising others over yourself, making this shift can feel overwhelming. However, self-care does not have to be a drastic change all at once. Here are some small but powerful ways to start putting yourself first:

1. Set Boundaries

Setting boundaries is one of the most effective ways to protect your energy and prioritise yourself. This might mean saying no to additional responsibilities at work, limiting time spent with toxic people, or carving out alone time for yourself. Boundaries communicate to others that your time and energy are valuable, and they help prevent burnout.

2. Prioritise Your Physical Health

Your body is your foundation, and taking care of it is essential. Make time for regular exercise, eat nutritious foods, stay hydrated, and get enough sleep. Your physical health directly impacts your mental and emotional well-being, so prioritise it accordingly.

3. Practice Self-Compassion

Many people struggle with negative self-talk and unrealistic expectations. It’s important to be kind to yourself and acknowledge that you are doing your best. Speak to yourself with the same kindness and encouragement you would offer a loved one.

4. Schedule “Me” Time

If you don’t intentionally make time for yourself, it is easy to get caught up in the chaos of daily life. Whether it’s reading a book, taking a walk, or even catching up on some Netflix, schedule time that is just for you. This is not a luxury—it is a necessity.

5. Let Go of Guilt

Guilt is one of the biggest obstacles to self-care. Remind yourself that taking care of yourself does not mean you don’t care about others. It simply means you recognise your own worth and understand that you are deserving of care and attention.

6. Seek Support When Needed

You don’t have to do everything alone. Seeking support from a professional or trusted friend can help you navigate the journey of prioritising yourself. Sometimes, an outside perspective can offer clarity and reassurance that you are making the right choices for your well-being. Remember, is ok not to be ok.

When you start prioritising yourself, you will notice a profound shift in your life. You will feel more energised, more confident, and more in control of your happiness. Your relationships will improve because you will be engaging with others from a place of fulfilment rather than exhaustion.

Additionally, you will become a role model for those around you. When your children, friends, or colleagues see you prioritising self-care, they will be inspired to do the same. Your actions will demonstrate that self-care is not selfish but rather an essential part of a balanced and happy life.

Putting yourself first is one of the most important decisions you can make for your wellbeing. It is not about neglecting others but rather about ensuring that you have the strength, energy, and mental clarity to be the best version of yourself. By setting boundaries, prioritising self-care, and letting go of guilt, you can create a life that is not only fulfilling for you but also beneficial to those around you. Prioritising yourself is not selfish; it is necessary.