19 November was World Men’s Day. I’m a day late in sharing this, but such is life.

Mental health is our health. It isn’t just about this one day. Today I want to shine a light on the stigma that surrounds mental health.

The world we live in is full of stereotypes. When it comes to being a man, it seems we have a stereotype that we must all be masculine, macho alpha males. If a man is anything that is different to this stereotype, he is viewed by many to be weak or less than. These stereotypes can inflict massive on a person and can cause lasting damage. It is important we always challenge these stereotypes to make sure thrive in an inclusive, diverse and equal society. But that is a big ask – it is difficult to change these stereotypes, and change is often at a slow pace.

These stereotypes of masculinity can cause major setbacks for men with mental ill health too. Some guys often find it harder to open up about how they are feeling, and incorrect stereotypes of having to “man up” do nothing to improve this situation.

The charity CALM (the campaign against living miserably) has done some research and produced a great article on challenging male stereotype.

I’d encourage you all to read this article and also explore the wider work of CALM as a charity.

I am just going to touch on something that’s been bugging me a little of late I think its valid to challenge it.

I got told to MAN UP.

That is literally the worst piece of advice you could give me. Man Up – as if men are supposed to be strong and hide their feelings, and not show an ounce of emotion or vulnerability. When this was said to me it made me sick. Honestly, telling me to man up will likely make me end a friendship. 

Generally, men struggle with opening up about mental health concerns and generally talking about what they feel or are thinking. There is this a stereotype that men must be masculine by not sharing thoughts, feelings and emotions.  I work hard to help everyone regardless of gender or indeed any of their personal circumstances or backgrounds.  Positivity Wellbeing is about being inclusive and welcoming to all, helping you to build positive coping methods in life whilst learning that it is also ok not to be ok.

Man up is the total opposite of my approach, it make me so angry that this term is used so much in society. You’ll never here it from me and I’ll challenge it when I encounter it.  I have heard people with other gender identities being told to man up.  This needs to stop.

It is ok to not to be ok.  Its ok to talk about that, its ok not to talk about it too.  But you have feelings, thoughts, worries, joys and emotions.  Not just talking about the guys here, everyone. Be human, not a stereotype. 

Don’t man up.  Life is supposed to be messy. You’ve totally got this.